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Wendy Darling becomes a pilot as soon as she comes of age,
because she was always going to find a way to fly,
and night after night sitting by the windowsill never got her anywhere
other than the ground.
When told of her curse, Sleeping Beauty goes in search of a spindle.
Instead of mounting the land with her feet full of needles, Ariel watches as her lover slides into the ocean with his legs blurring into scales.
One night, Belle finds herself growing a set of fangs and a coat of shaggy fur to match her Beast’s, and finds that she prefers jagged claws to blunt fingernails.
Susan Pevensie is not shunted from her kingdom
because she learned to use the only weapons she had at hand,
forfeiting her bow and arrow for red-lined lips and slick nylons.
After her feathers bloom like they do every night, Odette goes to find the sorcerer
and plunges her beak into each of his eyes.
True love’s kiss is sitting quietly in the middle of their priorities.
If they find themselves locked in a castle, they break down the walls.
Give me princesses in tattered chainmail or ripped dresses
Give me princesses who ride around, slaying dragons
or mounting them and claiming the sky.
When they are placed up in a tower and told to wait for their hero,
our princesses take their fate by the guts
slide their thighs around the neck of their thrashing dragon
and take to the stars.
them: oh are u excited for that new marvel movie?
Thanks Anon. I’ll be back in the fall.
In light of that fact that it is now summer time, and I have a lot of free time, I have decided to take a hiatus from tumblr for the summer. I have decided that I need to go out and explore, and be productive. Just wanted to give everyone a heads up, so no one thinks I’ve died. I have not set up a queue, but I will be online for the next 30ish minutes before I bow out for the next few months, if anyone has anything they want to say to me, I recommend you do it now.
Superpower: Accelerated healing and cool claws
Superhero team: The Avengers
Lover: Maria Hill
Side occupation: Photographer
Favourite weapon: Shield
Base of operations: New York City
FRIENDLY FUCKIN’ REMINDER: WHAT WE CALL "THE TONY AWARDS" WAS ORIGINALLY "THE ANTOINETTE PERRY AWARD FOR EXCELLENCE IN THEATRE", NAMED AFTER THE CO-FOUNDER AND CHAIRWOMAN OF THE AMERICAN THEATRE WING.THE AWARDS FOR ACTRESSES WERE ORIGINALLY SILVER COMPACTS, BUT SOMEONE DECIDED THIS WAS TOO EFFEMINATE AND SLAPPED THE COMPACT’S DESIGN IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR MODERN AWARD- THAT SPINNY SILVER MEDALLION WAS ORIGINALLY USED FOR CHECKING LIPSTICK.
ANOTHER REMINDER: I KNEW NONE OF THIS UNTIL TODAY. DON’T TOLERATE FEMALE ERASURE. REMEMBER HER NAME.ANTOINETTE FUCKING PERRY.
Robbie is totally the voice of a generation
This is the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen.
Captain Narcolepsy on a quest for some ‘snooze time’
Filed under: Actors who are secretly their characters
"HI HI HI I want to be your friend too!"
SHAKE MY PAW TOO HELLO HUMAN GIVE ME YOUR LOVE AS WELL PLEASE
Crows are scary
- use tools
- Can be taught to speak (like parrots)
- Have huge brains for birds
- like seriously their brain-to-body size ratio is equal to that of a chimpanzee
- They vocalize anger, sadness, or happiness in response to things
- they are scary smart at solving puzzles
- some ravens stay with their mates until one of them dies
- they can remember faces
- SIDENOTE HERE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT. They did an experiment where these guys wore masks and some of them fucked with crows. Pretty soon the crows recognized the masks = douchebag. But the nice guys with masks they left alone. THEN, OH WE’RE NOT DONE, NO SIR crows that WEREN’T EVEN IN THE EXPERIMENT AND NEVER SAW THE MASK BEFORE knew about mask-dudes and attacked them on sight. THEY PASSED ON THE FUCKING INFORMATION TO THEIR CROW BUDDIES.
- They remember places where crows were killed by farmers and change their migration patterns.
Guys I’m really scared of crows now.
i love crows so much
crows are amazing
a few years ago my grandparents had a crow die in their yard. like 2 seconds after it fell from the power lines (it was electrocuted) dozens and dozens of crows flew over, surrounding it as if they were mourning its death. crows are fucking awesome.
If anyone ever questions the value of watching cartoons, tell them they are educational! I mean seriously, if it wasn’t for Gravity Falls, would you ever have known about America’s Silliest President? I don’t think so!
The greatest moment in the history of film
you can almost hear it